A Dying Wish
by amy1oM
Summary: In his final hours, the Doctor will intentionally violate one of the laws of time. Spoilers for the end of Season 4 along with some speculation from me. You are warned.


He was dying.

He'd outlived his people and so many people he'd cared about or loved. He was tired of being so utterly alone. He was the last of the Time Lords and his time was ending. The Doctor thought he was more than ready for his final death. It was time the universe learned to take care of its own problems or implode in on as he was done with it.

Rose.

There wasn't a day that he didn't think about her. He missed her with every breath he took and each beat of his hearts. He missed her smile and the way she'd looked at him when she thought he wasn't looking. He missed her laugh when something really struck her as funny simply; holding her on those thankfully too few nights she'd felt a bit homesick for her mum. Oh, Rassilon, how he missed her in all her gloriously ordinary, yet extraordinary grounding humanness

Nearly two years after the universe had torn Rose away from him for the first time, it had shown him unmerited grace by giving her back to him unexpectedly. Of course whenever the universe showed him any sort of unexpected kindness said kindness always came with a heavy price. In this case, Rose's return had marked yet another confrontation with the Daleks and had included their creator Davros thrown in for good measure.

The confrontation had become a trying ordeal early on as the Doctor had been so gravely wounded he came very close to regenerating again. He knew he would have too if it hadn't been for Martha's excellent medical care, the help of his friends, and Rose's comforting presence. Davros and his evil children had been defeated once more but not before the victory had cost Donna Noble her life. She was struck down when she'd taken a shot intended to kill Rose. He never really got over feeling guilty over Donna's death but having Rose close had helped him deal with his grief.

Rose had stayed with him for the rest of her natural life. She had tried to give him as much of forever as she could manage with her all too short human life span. She'd had a long life in comparison to most humans but even the time she had had was just a mere blink of the eye for the Doctor. It was only up until near the end of her life she had been forced to stop traveling with him. When that time came, they settled on Barcelona (the planet), and he came close to being the most domesticated the Doctor had ever allowed himself to be. Even though five hundred years had passed, the Doctor still felt the agony he felt at the moment of Rose's death.

Throughout the years he'd fought with the pain, grief, and loneliness her death had brought. He'd only continued on with his life because he knew she would have wanted him to. Her memory and name was the only reason he kept fighting to right the wrongs in the universe. He held the universe together in all the ways a Time Lord should but he did so only for Rose not because he still felt any obligation towards his long dead people. However, today all that would change; today he had decided to stop fighting. It was time the universe fended for itself, solved its own problems. The Doctor refused to spend his final hours righting one more wrong.

He had decided a long time ago how he wanted to spend his remaining hours in the universe. Fulfilling his dying wish however, was another matter. On the day he sensed his final death looming, he spent over an hour fighting with the TARDIS. He'd set the time coordinates and she'd take him anywhere but to the correct year. She knew all too well what he had in mind and she was going to make sure he wasn't going to get his way.

"Come on, old girl, stop being so stubborn." He began inputting the coordinates yet again, watching the time rotor go up and down before he felt their arrival. The Doctor checked to see what year they'd arrived at and closed his eyes in exasperation when once again he had failed to reach his destination.

The TARDIS blew the equivalent of a mental raspberry in his mind.

Punching the buttons again, this time a little less gently than before, he rolled his eyes at the ceiling, "You're being quite unreasonable you know. I had my fill of others meddling in my affairs when _they_ were all still alive."

In response to his statement a copy of the laws of time flashed across the monitor with the very law he was attempting to violate highlighted and written in big bold letters.

The Doctor turned away from the monitor with an annoyed sigh before saying, "Yes, I am very familiar with the laws of time. I am a Time Lord you know. My memory does not need refreshing." He fell silent a moment while he tried to think of a way to get his ship to cooperate with him.

"I don't know what all this fuss is about. It's not like I've never crossed my own timeline before." Seconds passed and when he sensed no response from the TARDIS the Doctor tried a different tactic. Touching the console lightly, he said. "I know you've missed her too, old girl."

_That pathetic attempt was beneath your dignity as a Time Lord, Theta._

The Doctor was surprised. It was a rare thing for her to use actual words because it took a deal of effort from her to do so. Nevertheless he wasn't about to let the TARDIS have her way.

"It's the truth and you know it. Besides, if I cared anything about keeping up my Time Lord dignity as you put it, I never would have allowed myself to love her in the first place!"

The TARDIS gave the mental equivalent of a sigh before she stated.

_But what you want is very dangerous. Do you want to hide from Reapers in the time you have left?_

"I am aware of that fact which is why I'm not going to speak to her or touch her. I only want to see her again," he replied. "There will be no danger of her recognizing me. How could she? She never saw me in this form."

The TARDIS replied after a long moment. _What of your earlier incarnation? He will recognize you as a Time Lord on sight if not as a future regeneration of himself._

Nodding the Doctor responded. "Which is why you are going to use the chameleon arch to change my biology into human so my younger self won't recognize me as either a Time Lord or one of his future incarnations."

Again the TARDIS hesitated in her reply.

"It's the only way to ensure something won't happen to make the Reapers appear."

He felt a touch of concern with the TARDIS's next question. _Are you certain you're strong enough to endure the transformation process?_

The Doctor did not hesitate. "Yes."

After a moment the TARDIS gave him a pulse of acquiescence. _Very well, Theta, we will follow through with your plan._

The Doctor felt the TARDIS land once again, and was relieved to discover they were finally in the year he'd been trying to get them to for nearly two days now.

"Right, thank you." He quickly crossed the room to retrieve his coat from on an antique coat rack by the door. He slipped on the coat then reached out to open the door, only stopping when he received a mild electrical shock.

"Oww! What was that for?"

_You forgot something,_ the TARDIS answered as she lowered the chameleon arch. _Use it, Theta, or I won't let you go outside._

He touched the door and quickly pulled his hand back when she shocked him again. After a third shock he finally glared up at the ceiling.

"I get the point!"

He quickly removed his coat and threw it in the direction of a nearby armchair before he walked back over to the arch. "Right, let's get this over with!"


End file.
